Foxy Seniors

A sense of humor goes a long way. Of course it could be misdirected but let’s err on the side of more humor, not less. These personal ads reportedly were seen in Florida newspapers. Makes one wonder how many of these seniors have numerous troublesome senior moments.

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well. Submitted by Kaspars

Thanks, Kaspars, you made our day. We seniors have lots of reasons to cultivate (or recultivate) our sense of humor. Even poking fun at ourselves is a fine option particularly if it is humor, not self deprecation.

Before I retired, I was suggested as a possible temporary replacement for a retiring Retirement Center chaplain (some facilities, like the military, find chaplains useful). I thought to myself, Working with old people 24 hours a day (not really 24). Ugh. No thanks. They prevailed upon me and talked me into at least meeting the Administrator and looking the joint over (as I envisioned it). I succumbed to the invitation and met a terrific young administer, surveyed the joint and discovered it quite magnificent.

My wife and I met with the district governor and the administrator and believe it or not, I accepted the interim position. In the three months, we fell in love with all those old people and found them to be delightful souls. The women surrounded my wife with their love, understanding (we were rookies of course) and companionship. When our interim role was over, the departure was difficult for all of us.

We went on to another retirement center where we served joyously for a decade until my retirement. Now we are among those elderly, humorless, dowdy seniors who populate the earth. Oops. That is not true. We are the lucky ones with peers ten to twenty years our senior as well as fellow sojourners sixty, seventy years our junior, and even younger.

Our compatriots are hardly dowdy or humorless. The above quotes from the want ads came via a senior. My computer email bins are full of humor sent by seniors. In return, I can and do forward some of them to both juniors and seniors and even my grandkids.

As I have arrived at the bottom of the page, let me make a suggestion. If you are a senior (or even a junior), why don’t you try to write your own classified want ad? Or one for a friend, or neighbor, single or otherwise. See if you can top what you’ve already read above. You don’t have to reveal it to anyone but you may if you wish.