Get Out of the Car

A friend of mine recently sent me a clipping of an article which I’d like to share with you. Even if fanciful, it is a delightful story with a good punch line: If you’re going to have a senior moment…make it memorable. If your senior moments are memorable, they are worth sharing, right?

An Elderly lady had finished her shopping, and upon returning to her car, saw four males in the art of leaving with her car.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it. Get out of the car.”

The four men didn’t wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handbag.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the story? If you’re going to have a senior moment . . . make it memorable.
(This is supposedly a true story recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida)

Thanks, Bill, for sharing this story. It has brightened our day and made it a memorable one.

Of course, a related senior moment is the day or the hour when our car keys are taken away from us. For many seniors, this is a traumatic occurrence, one we hope will never happen. Some of us will voluntarily give up driving; others will drive much longer than wise. Our vision, reflexes and strength often do go south (and we don’t mean Sarasota), sometimes so gradually we hardly recognize it.

Actually, losing our driver’s license isn’t all bad. Just think, the days of being a chauffeur are over (grandkids, neighbors, seniors without cars or licenses, and possibly even our spouse). No more auto repairs, insurance, gasoline bills, maintenance, trade-in hassles. Just think how many taxi rides we could take with the money we’ve saved.

Can we prepare for this kind of senior moment? You bet. We can anticipate it as a part of our maturation process of aging gracefully. We can remove roadblocks (us) from the highways on which we and others travel. We can enjoy (hopefully) the skills of other drivers (yes, we do have the right to be choosy). If this senior moment is just around the corner, don’t worry.

PS Anyone interested in a 1991 (or is it a 1989? ) black Cadillac with 22,536 miles on it? Some rust. No dings. Single owner. Retired prematurely. Make offer. (123) 456.7890 before 9:00 PM.