Honor: A Worthy Attribute

As seniors, many of us have been married for decades. This is unlike many younger marrieds who may or may not enjoy (or endure) a long wedded life. We remember our vows: to honor, cherish, love, obey until death do us part. The vows have changed over the years, both in wording as well as content, with some very unusual and creative ceremonies on occasion.

No, this is not going to deal with the longevity of marriage nor with marriage itself. Rather, with the term honor. Our senior moment could be that moment when we lost our honor, or spent it unwisely, or forgot about it entirely and possibly feel a need to restore it.

Honor is not easily defined. It includes a high respect shown for special merit or a gesture of respect, a recognition of distinction. More, it suggests a code of pride, dignity and integrity which can be awarded by a high ranking or earned because of a distinguished effort. It also includes chastity, uprightness of character and principled integrity. It is venerated in the judicial system whereby judges are addressed Your Honor and recognized academically by the awarding of honors (My son/daughter made the Honor Roll).

Many of us old timers probably find it easier to express our appreciation for that which is honorable. Although we may not be as stuffy as some think (e.g., those who are younger, although not necessarily subservient), we can be rather antiquated at times. As for me, I would like to see more honor, not less, in our society.

Who’s to blame is a complex question. Parents have been known to prefer that their children call them by their first names. Ministers, teachers, superiors have been known to elect that they be called John or Johnny. How much this kind of thing has contributed to the diminishing of honor I am not sure. This with other forms of casualness also contributes to the diminished role of honorability (how about this word?). Should our Minister, Physician, Professor, Scientist, Teacher, Parent, Grandparent, President, Congressperson warrant more honor or less? Should it depend upon whether it is earned or simply because it is appropriate? Or both?

As this is written (January 2007), The President of the United States is not enjoying an honorable estate judging by the negativism of the media, the results of various polls, the complexities of the Office plus the general turmoil of much of the world. I received an e-mail today asking if I liked the President or not (it turned out to be a shameless piece of marketing). I turned on the news this morning and watched the daily accounting of service personnel and civilian deaths in Iraq. Tragic, yes, but can it be overdone? Probably.

Whether we like a person or not, if he or she holds a responsible position, elected or appointed, should their office as well as their personhood be maligned? Can they be separated easily? Honor, as we have stated, is not an easy topic to grapple with.

However, this is a bold plea to assess and reconsider the role of honor in our society. If we are lax in ordinary things, it is difficult to give credibility to greater matters. Dignitaries, parents and professionals can easily become demoted or denigrated needlessly when honor is remiss.

As this is being written (1/2007), the late former President Gerald R. Ford, after thirty years (and we do remember the ‘70s), has received the honor which apparently was overdue. Our nation honored him posthumously, and in many ways, spontaneously. Many of us old-timers who remembered him were honored that he was duly honored. And that’s honorable, isn’t it, Mr. President?