How to Identify a Senior

It depends. A student? No, not here. Highest on the ladder? No. A retiree? Not necessarily but could be. Elder, major, older, higher, superior? These all fit except for our purpose. A senior person could be many of these things: retiree, superior, an elder, old or older. So, let’s define it for this column only.

First, when a clerk doesn’t have to ask us anymore if you are a senior or not even if that sort of insults some pre-seniors. Or when the police and firemen look so young. Then, if a person doesn’t whip out an iPhone or a cell phone every ten minutes, chances are he or she may be a senior.

Then, you have to be careful when a middle-aged hopeful asks if this establishment offers a senior discount. Only borderline seniors or those approaching senior-hood have to ask. True seniors tend to wait until asked. Watch behavioral patterns. If a supposed senior get easily angered, raises his/her voice, threatens vociferously, they may not qualify under certain conditions where seniors of all ages, are honored with the appellations such as Senor or Senora. Or Madam?

Another sure way (usually) is when a middle aged person addresses an adult as grannie or gramp. Not all deserving grandparents merit this familiarity unless they are indeed well-loved seniors. Other traits do not count such as hearing aids, thick glasses, canes (even expensive hand-carved ones) or hot rod wheelchairs with brakes. They can belong to non-seniors.

Oh, there are other ways of identification but this should be enough. One sure way is to check a driver’s license or passport but these can be rigged. So can certificates from prestige institutions. But ancient photographs with dated objects such as really old cars, previously existing landmarks, may be a safer bet. Otherwise, perhaps it is best not to guess or even attempt to validate. Just smile if someone asks if you need help crossing the street. Or if they help you find your car in the parking lot, and then the right key, then they’ll know. Maybe.