On Mastering Golf

If you've never had a senior moment playing golf, read on. Actually, I'm getting closer every year to scoring my age (on nine holes). As a golfer, there can be many senior moments (juniors, too). Perhaps the most common is not that awful shot or putt, but the exceptionally good one. That's what keeps many old-timer duffers (like me) in the game.

Now, I'd like to give you some pointers on playing the game. This will guarantee to improve your score, not by lowering it, but giving it a lift. These suggestions come from a variety of sources who make promises you wouldn't believe. Whenever I take a few golf lessons, I invariably play more poorly so I am not at this stage recommending lessons.

Ready? First, your equipment. If you want to spend a fortune, go ahead, but it probably won't make a huge difference. Let's talk about the Driver. If your driver goes thud instead of pings, that's OK. You've saved yourself a lot of money. And maybe a stroke or two.

Now, the Irons. Here's the big scoop: “Longest Iron in the History of Golf? The 3DX Hybrid Iron Set.” Ah, yes, hybrid. Why not? Because it actually shares a lot of characteristics of a wood (Center of Gravity, Moment of Inertia and C.O.R.). Got that?

Next, you've gotta have a set of Wedges. One won't do. You need one to get out of a sand trap, another for high grass (third cut) and another when you're on the fairway. Now, some of us amateurs do quite well with one Wedge, but then, who wants to be an amateur forever? Besides, some pros, I'm told, aim for a sand trap because the green is tricky or the terrain around the green is inhospitable.

Now we've come to the Putter. Oh ho, you ain't seen nuttin' 'til you see these new fangled ones. They look like a mini-catamaran where you can adjust the weight with ports and wedges with a zillion configurations. They even have lines on them so you can aim better. Don't need one of these contraptions? Maybe not, but you ought to know they exist. OK?

If you're pushing 70, 80, 90 years, you probably would like to ride. You'll still get a lot of exercise getting in and out of those unprofessional vehicles (pros can't use 'em) so go ahead and ride (the electric ones are really quiet and peppy too). If you wish, you can rent a pull cart (quite cheap) or get one for Father's Day. They also have battery-operated pull carts with fold-down seats. Not bad. Ought to be worth at least a stroke or two.

Golf balls. Pros probably change them every few holes but some of us old timers can use 'em 'til we lose 'em (maybe for half a round up to several rounds if we don't hit 'em too far or spray 'em all over). If you have trouble finding a lost ball, you can get them with a chip embedded and they'll beep their way back into contention. If you purchase rehabilitated harvested balls, make sure they weren't under water more than thirty days.

Now for the “Hottest New Secret Weapon on PGA Tour.” Guess what. It's a pendant you wear around your neck which enhances your body's innate energy and reduces emotional stress. Wow! Golf is a mental game as well as physical. Good thing we can compensate for our shortcomings. There are also pills you can take for both energy and hydration, especially on or about the 14th hole when our metabolism goes on strike.

There are all kinds of gimmicks that may help like weights or a towel tucked under  the armpit but that's another lesson. Happy golfing, and if you take heed to the above, I can guarantee you'll add, yes add, a stroke or two. More for your money, right?