Suppose. . .

Most seniors have traveled through life over bumpy roads with lots of curves. We have also sped along on Interstate Highways with nary a curve with speed limits rather than speed bumps. The scenery has been gorgeous and we have also been confronted with treacherous situations.

Now that we are somewhere in the twilight zone, with slower reflexes and eyes that are dimming, we can think back on these wonderful and not so remarkable years. As we do so, there are times when we second guess our journey (or should we say journeys).

Suppose, we mutter, I should have zigged when I zagged. If we are not careful, I suppose we could suppose ourselves into oblivion. This can be an exhilarating experience or it could be an uncomfortable senior moment. Let me illustrate in part my own experience.

I came to several crossroads in my life just as you have done. When I finished high school, I waited for Uncle Sam to draft me into the armed services. He did and I had a choice: Army or Navy. I chose the Navy Reserves rather than the Regular Navy. A few months later Uncle Sam called for the discharge of all Navy Reservists. Luck? To be sure. Certainly not my initiative.

When I finished Junior College (our Church School was only a JC in those days), I had been asked to go the Far East to assist in the missionary music program. Because of limited education and not yet 21 years of age, I elected to continue my college work. But suppose I had gone to the Far East? My whole life could have been different. While in Seminary, I sang in a quartet which auditioned for a one-year ministry with a well-known evangelist. We passed the audition but two of us opted to finish Seminary causing the quartet to recruit other singers and off they went.

Suppose I had gone? Perhaps my whole life could have been devoted to music. Who knows? The same thing happened when I had a contract in one hand to teach at a college and a call to pastor a congregation. If I had elected to teach, the rest of my life could have been in the academic realm. As I reflect on my past, I find there were numerous crossroads which continued on into retirement where I still face lesser crossroads.

Although it is interesting to imagine what might have been had I turned right instead of left, or went North instead of South, I frankly don’t spend too much time in presumption. Or second guessing. Tempting as it is, I think it could be dangerous, even debilitating, if taken too seriously. We mortals can be thankful that two things were withheld from us by design by the Creator. The first is the inability to know the future; the second is the inability to know what would have happened if we had zigged instead of zagged.

More and more I run into seniors who are taking courses in writing. For publication? In a limited sense, yes. The course being recommended is writing memoirs, not as much for ourselves as for our descendants. This is a great idea although it too can backfire if we’re not careful. We can be too general and simply dig up non-essential data: I got up, read the paper, watched the news, ate lunch, went lawn bowling, retired early.

Or, we can be too candid and embarrass our family not only by our candor but digging up that which should remain hidden. Finding the balance is not always easy and speculating too much on I suppose I ought to share this with others. Writing memoirs is good therapy, invaluable for those who follow on. If we can find a balance between consequential and inconsequential memories with only a trace, if any, of supposition, we will all be enriched.