They Call Me Senior

Being called a senior is complimentary here and there. “May I introduce Senior Gonzalez, a distinguished professor at Drake Institute.” No problems here. But then a news report, “The riot was caused by a bunch of disgruntled seniors.” And so we embark on a new, maybe better, term.

Carlos Van Leer suggested way back in 1974 “seasoned citizens.” Not too bad. Vincent W. Gillen liked the term “emeritan.” Fine, except many probably wouldn't get the connection with emeritus. Some may think Samaritan, not senior.

How about L-raisers? Oh oh. “L” stands for Roman Numeral fifty. Now we get it. Fifty-raisers. Nope. Won't survive. Another tried “silver citizens” which might work for some but not the “gold citizens.” Silver is way too young, especially for octogenarians.

We've tried “mature citizens” without much support. Or “half-centenarians.” How about “over-fifty” ( think AARP's age for membership) or “over-70” (think social security creeping upward)? “Ol' geezers” just isn't dignified nor “Ol' duffer.” Still, these creep into vocabularies now and then. Some like the term “elder” but that could be too religious for some.

To help in this search, we turn to the ever faithful thesaurus. Here are a few synonyms (or proxies): ancient, antiquated, by-gone, old-fashioned, obsolete, prehistoric, pristine, immemorial, antediluvian, hoary (yikes), time-honored, time-worn, venerable (not vulnerable), superannuated, patriarchal/matriarchal, olden, decrepit, aged, sedate. How about superannuated pristine venerables?

Really, this isn't only a problem for old-timers. What about the young? We could use new, modern, up-to-date, green, blooming, budding, juvenile, puerile, adolescent, immature, unseasoned, infantile, child-like or childish? As in she had class full of puerile, unseasoned juveniles?